Kick Monday’s Ass: the Importance of Your People (November 9, 2020)

It’s time to kick Monday’s ass…

So here it is… the big reveal.

In my last few emails I’ve been a little cryptic about some of my own personal struggles. Today I’ve got enough time, space, and processing done to feel comfortable opening up about it.

For the last month or two I’d been mentally and emotionally preparing myself to step out from behind the guru and start putting more time and attention into building this fledgling Permission to Kick Ass brand. Something about this feels like more than an email series – it’s really a personal calling.

But to give this the focus it deserves, it meant I had to make the tough decision to leave a team I’ve loved working for. I worked up the gumption and made the announcement and had an emotionally heavy week – on one hand it felt like a heavy weight had been removed from my chest, and on the other… well, it was pretty fucking terrifying.

But I had the support of my partner at least, and we were getting ready to move into a new house together and start the next chapter of our lives…

Or so I thought.

I gave notice of leaving the team on Monday (and he knew this). He informed me Saturday that he didn’t think he loved me and didn’t want to lead me on.

So in the space of a week I went from having this grand new adventure ahead of me to having my whole world fall apart in a wholly unexpected way.

My very first instinct was to run back to safety, beg for my old role back, just hole up and cry for a bit and try to piece my broken heart back together surrounded by people who care about me.

But some small, quiet voice inside me said – this is the part you have to resist. That part that keeps you playing small because everything is overwhelming and scary.

Maybe instead of this being a sign you should quit and nothing will ever go as you hope… this is a sign you’re on the right track? If you go back now, when you’re scared and hurting – when will you ever get up the courage to do this again? Will you always be operating from fear?

So I did probably the hardest thing I’ve done in my life – I told my team what was going on, and they (being the amazing people they are) offered to let me stay, asked me to let them take care of me while I heal.

I cried like a child with their first big boo-boo… that is to say, snot bubble tears and overwhelm. And I kindly turned them down. It’s time for me to move into my next big role, as terrifying as it is, as turbulent as everything is right now.

After all, I can’t ask you to believe in yourself and do the scary thing if I’m not willing to also do it myself. And what better way to start the healing process than to build something bigger than myself?

That brings me to this week’s video… all about finding the people who will help push you forward into success.

 

Kick Monday’s Ass: the importance of your people

When I first started out, I was under the (seriously deluded) impression that I had to figure everything out on my own. That the only way I could earn a spot to the table was coming to the table already knowing my shit.

And if I’d let go of that “one woman island” notion a lot sooner, I probably would have watched my career take off that much faster. Seriously, the difference pre- and post-finding my community is like night and day. So get thee into groups and start finding the people who vibe with you, who can support and teach you, who you can help. It can make an incredible difference in your trajectory…

Badass of the Week

This one could be a bit of a trigger warning – but I think the circumstances are exactly what make Indian diver Shiva such a badass.

What started off as helping the police for pay evolved into a calling, where one man does his level best to prevent death by suicide in the city lake. To me, that’s proof positive of the importance of a single human life, and how we impact each other for the better – often without even intending to.

(If you know someone who should be featured as my Badass of the Week, leave a comment and tell me!)

On Repeat This Week…

 

Recently I rewatched House, and one thing I forgot (aside from Hugh Laurie’s comic timing and the fascinating character he developed) was how great the musical direction was.

I heard this one – “Not as We” by Alanis Morissette – at the end of one of the episodes and immediately pulled out my phone to ask Google to identify it.

Given my current life situation it really spoke to me in a deep way:

Day one, day one
Start over again
Step one, step one
I’m barely making sense
For now I’m faking it
‘Til I’m pseudo making it
From scratch, begin again
But this time I as I and not as we