Kick Monday’s Ass: right in the freaking feels (April 18, 2022)
It’s time to Kick Monday’s Ass…
This weekend the world lost someone pretty wonderful, my friend Mary Gilkerson.
We haven’t been friends very long in the scheme of things, but even that brief window was enough to let me know I’d found a kindred spirit… someone I aspire to be like if and when I grow up.
I had the extreme pleasure of hanging with Mary on three occasions when I was in Savannah last year. Each time we’d sit for hours enjoying the food, the scenery, and talking about the kind of deep stuff you usually talk about with only the closest of friends.
She was that kind of badass soul, someone that you could open up to and who would be your fiercest cheerleader.
The last time I saw her in person, we had a “porch party” on that glorious old Colonial revival style porch with the cushy furniture and the lazily whirling ceiling fans. We brought out all the food I needed to get rid of before the next move and had ourselves a little picnic (and of course she brought her favorite, pimento cheese).
I think we spent six hours on that porch talking about love, life, business, and everything under the sun. We bonded over what I call “Southern Woman Syndrome,” where we’ve been socialized to be polite, know our places, and never dare to step up and shine.
We were both determined to burn that thinking to the ground. I loved her.
Even a couple years of seeing each other every week in a mastermind wasn’t enough time.
If you’ve ever wondered if what you do matters, look no further than Mary. In such a short period of time she managed to touch my soul and help me believe in myself, despite the heartbreak and the self-confidence struggles.
Never underestimate the power of one human connecting with another, especially if it’s over great food.
I’ll miss you Mary, and your rebellious, wry humor. May we all carry your spirit with us into the next phase.
Last week on the podcast…
It’s podcast-a-palooza this week.
First on Permission to Kick Ass, I spoke to the amazing Sonja Pemberton about this persistent myth of “the other”. We’ve all experienced it – many of us have even “othered” ourselves. Check this one out for a fascinating deep dive into why this keeps happening, plus some amazing tips for connecting on a truly human-to-human level.
Bonus ep #1: I got to speak to Daniel Lamb (who was the guest for episode 58 of PTKA a few weeks ago) and his partner Anna Rosa Parker on the Artist Inclusive podcast. In that chat, I got to go deep into this whole crazy journey I’ve been on and what I’ve learned while conducting life and business on the road.
Bonus ep #2: I was also on the THRIVE podcast with Erica, sharing everything I’ve learned about having hard conversations. I’ve been coaching and running teams for years, and people I’ve worked with have thrown around terms like, “steel fist in a velvet glove,” “loving ass-kicking,” and my personal favorite “one-woman bomb squad who can defuse situations that might blow up.”
I wasn’t always great at having these hard convos, and so I wanted to share what I’ve learned through years of trial and error, in hopes that it helps deepen your relationships.
Section 42: Life, The Universe, and Everything…
This week has been a reminder to take time out to enjoy the little things, because you’ll only realize they were the big things when you can no longer do them.
Make the call, have the visit, send the card, do the thing even if sometimes you don’t want to. Self care is great, but make sure it’s not self-isolation. Connection, real HUMAN connection, is where it’s fucking at.
Thank you for an amazing brunch-and-wander-around-Vegas hang session to my local friend Trudy, who was a total champ and rad human being when I got the news about Mary and was too stunned to people very well.
Offer a week update + Marketing Minute…
Last week, true to form, I made offer #1 of my “one offer per week for an entire year” challenge.
You can check it out here: even Wolverine has a freaking life coach
I am a notorious over-complicator, which is why I’m borderline obsessed with simplifying offers and marketing for my clients. Complexity tends to break a lot more easily, and lead to a lot more confusion.
And frankly, you can always ADD complexity if you start simple… but if you start complicated it’s hard to scale back without scrapping it all and starting from scratch.
As I was thinking about all the things I could potentially offer, I remembered… I already have an offer set up and ready to go. It’s all automated, and it actually goes out at the end of this newsletter every week.
So why make week one overly complicated by coming out of the gate with something brand new?
Don’t get me wrong, there will be new stuff and experimentation as the year of offers progresses. But you definitely don’t have to do new all day every day, just for the sake of newness. Don’t be afraid to offer what you know works, even if your customers already know and love it. They love it for a reason.
On repeat this week…
This one goes out to Mary, Aunt Chris, and all those we have loved and lost… especially in the past few years.
Today I’m sharing a live version of The Wait by my favorite band Sevendust…
The speech he gave the crowd right before the song started hit me right in the feels. I’ve been singing this one on repeat today, with Stella occasionally joining in.
All my love,
Send a message when you’re home
Watch with lovin’ eyes
So you’re never all alone
If there’s forgiveness in our soul
Then, God, I need it here
To heal the wounds we tear
The page will turn
A hand pulls away
Let it go, let it go
Close the door and let it be
Our time will come, forever is a day
Let it go, let it go
And close your eyes and find a dream
As seconds burn, for now, we’ll wait
If you’re an aspiring freelancer who’s working up the courage to leave the day job… good news! I’m sharing all the things I WISH I’d known before making the leap so that hopefully your journey goes a little more smoothly than mine.
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