I got nothin’

I sat down to write today, because that’s what I normally do. 

And with everything that’s going on, my brain is like, “nah. Let’s not.”

So instead of any kind of brilliant marketing insight or pithy analysis, I have my latest boredom beater.

Earlier this week, a friend figured out “coronavirus” has 5 syllables and went on a haiku bender.

Naturally, I joined her.

Here’s what I did this week instead of working on stuff I should have been doing:

Coffee and candy
Are all I really live on
Stupid Corona

I worked from my home
Before all this crap happened
I’m still stir crazy

More coffee needed
Before I can deal with you
And do my job well

My cat thinks I’m God
Nothing much changed on that score
I’m home all the time

Stella loves my lap
But only during meetings
With video on

I coughed on a plane
Last month in San Diego
Almost got beat up

That cough on the plane?
Water went down the wrong pipe
Didn’t matter much

I don’t go out much
But now I can go nowhere
Cabin fever sucks

How can I distract
My partner on his meetings?
Payback is a bitch

Coffee tastes so good
Irish tastes even better
Day drinking is fun

I’m a total pro
I’ve got work PJs and
regular ones too

Whatever you do
Don’t forget to mute yourself
During bathroom trips

Learn from my mistakes
Turn on video after
You join any call

Best investment yet
Bluetooth headphones let me clean
Which helps me listen

I just realized
I prefer meetings where I
Can also play games

I just now got it
Dogs roll in the grass because
Being inside sucks

Pizza really is
the perfect food at any time
get those mushrooms off

And yes, I did have to count all the syllables on my fingers. Worth it.